Whaaaaat?!?!

Remember my unrequited office paramour? She’s still around:


I was walking toward the door to head to the restroom when I heard a sound. I turned my head back toward the conference room, but since it was dark, I didn’t see anything. Then I heard someone say something. Very quietly, she said “Did you hear me crunch?” I realized she was sitting all alone, lights off, shades drawn, eating her lunch. My brain couldn’t compute all this oddity at once, so I just walked out the door and went to the restroom.

When I got back, I made a concerted effort NOT to look in the conference room and NOT to engage in any conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see she was still sitting there like an assassin waiting alone in the dark to kill a secret agent. As I walked past the door, I heard her say something again. I hoped she would just let me pass and be done with it.

But, no.

Again, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her get out of her chair. I went and looked out my window, my back to the rest of the office, hoping to discourage any further interaction. But she was dogged:

“Did you hear me crunch?”

I said, “What?”

“Did you hear me crunch my chip when you walked past?”

“Apparently so.”

“Sorry,” she said, and took her lunch trash into the kitchen.


Whaaaaat?!?!