Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I Am Solid

When I let responsibilities slide, I feel incomplete. I feel like a two-dimensional drawing that contains small-but-growing holes. Holes that might resemble a single flame eating its way through the drawing, inside-out. Or a rat systematically chewing through a paper cup. I feel paranoid, like people are poking and prodding for my failures. As if they are just waiting for me to step in a hole of my own creation.

When I don't face problems head-on, I feel unstable. I feel like my problems are chipping away at me, like a sculptor who doesn't know when to stop. And the more that gets chipped away, the more I feel wobbly, like a game of Jenga right before its climax. I feel overwhelmed. Every problem I have manifests itself as a brick and simultaneously positions itself directly above my head.

When I face my problems and accept my responsibilities, I feel strong, and warm and light. I feel confident and social. And solid.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is there anything I can do to help, other than being supportive?

Nick said...

I am solid.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, I misunderstood! I understand now. Good for you!
XOXOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

i really got into how you verablized your feelings. good job and so very true. just know you're not alone in those feelings. i know i have felt the same way when i'm not taking care of business..and the same when i do. i appreciate you sharing this nick. it just lets me get to know you a little better.

Ron Rollins said...

http://baseballoverhere.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-season-predictions.html

I know you're reading, but I don't have your e-mail address.