City considers banning "Thinking Arby's" in cars
Roeland Park, KS -- City officials in Roeland Park, KS have proposed a groundbreaking ban within their city limits. In a move similar to the ban on using a cell phone while driving in New York, drivers in Roeland Park would face a fine of up to $100 dollars if caught "Thinking Arby's".
The proposal has been made in response to the current national advertising campaign by the fast food roast beef chain. Television advertisements show various people completely unaware of unusual or catastrophic events happening around them, all the while a "thought balloon" hovers above their head and a voice-over says, "I'm thinking Arby's."
Mayor Steve Petrehn is concerned for the welfare of his town's residents. "Imagine the consequences this could have on the citizens of our great town if people are allowed to drive their vehicles completely distracted by the mouth-watering goodness of an Arby's Regular Roast Beef Sandwich, topped with zesty Horsey Sauce."
Yet, others in the community have reservations over what some have called "thought legislation". Ron Milner, a Roeland Park resident for over 35 years, doesn't think the government needs to intervene in the personal freedoms of those it represents. "They're already making me put on my seat belt -- now the government is going to tell me I can't daydream about curly fries and a jug of sweet tea? Why don't we put our resources towards something useful, like drilling for oil in the old Indian Mission?"
The proposal has not been well received by Arby's officials. Judith McPheeters, General Manager of the Arby's franchise in neighboring Mission, KS, says the ban on "Thinking Arby's" could have a devastating effect on her business. "All of a sudden, you would have people who have a clear desire to purchase a delicious Arby's Market Fresh Southwest Chicken Wrap suddenly fearing the possibility of being pulled over and fined. Most of our potential customers will find it far easier to just visit the McDonald's across the street. They may have their "Snack Wrap", but let me tell you, it is most decidedly not Market Fresh."
And while there is still time before the issue is put before the Roeland Park City Council, Roeland Park resident Bill Chumley may sum up things best:
"I'm not sure what the big deal is. When was the last time you went to Arby's?"
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6 comments:
About a month ago I went to Arby's and I wasn't quite ready to order so I asked politely for a little more time. The lady inside the box said that she would wait for me to decide what I wanted and whenever I was ready she instructed me to say "I'm Thinking Arby’s". After deciding what five I wanted for my five I replied dutifully and felt like a piece of me died.
I'm thinking I couldn't have brought myself to reply in such a manner. I'm mourning for your missing piece.
whatever piece of you died must have been weak and pathetic to have been killed by the arby's speaker box lady. be glad it's gone.
This is your funniest rumination yet. I seriously thought I was reading an article from "The Onion." Strong work. Have you heard where the name Arby's came from?
Thanks, Jeremy. The urban legend says that it's an acronym for "America's Roast Beef Yes Sir".
Arby's = liquid A
Funny nick. For a decade or more, Arby's has been providing belly laughs.
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