Collaboration

While waiting for Dave to get out of school yesterday, Samantha and I joined forces and wrote the following piece. We mostly followed the pattern of writing every other sentence, but not strictly. See if you can figure out who wrote what:

One day there was a guy named Bob. Bob didn't like to throw up. But he liked to fart. So he would experiment with the foods that he ate to see which foods would make big, juicy farts but didn't make him barf.

So, the other day, he was in his front yard and he farted so big that he now lives on Mars. Except now he's kind of hungry because there isn't a lot to eat on Mars. He invented a machine called the "Fart Pack". When he farts in this tube, it blows him into the air and takes him to any planet. He made lots of money marketing his "Fart Pack" to people on Earth and the other planets he visited.

When he got back to Earth, he ate twelve pounds of beans and packed a bunch of food. Then he made a huge fart that too him past the Milky Way to some old solar system. He landed on Planet Zarnack and met some of the aliens that lived there. They tried to eat him but when he farted, the air turned orange and green. So the aliens passed out and left their spaceship available. He was glad that he didn't become a Zarnack snack and decided to see if he could operate their spaceship. He got it turned on but when he pushed the gas, it went full speed into the Moon and the Moon hit Earth. The Earth bounced closer to the sun and affirmed Al Gore's fears about global warming.

The North and South poles started to go bye-bye and the water said, "Hi-hi!" Soon, there were beaches in Bob's home state of Kansas. When Bob went to the beach, a huge tsunami hit and killed Bob. Uh, oh.

Bob's family was stricken with grief over Bob's death and worried about the Earth's imminent demise, so they strapped on some "Fart Packs" and traveled to Pluto. They got there and they all dressed up in leotards, tutus and ballerina slippers. Then they all started jumping around and dancing. Bob's granny was old but she could jump and dance really well because of the low level of gravity. But Grandpa, on the other hand, fell off Pluto and landed on a meteorite. It crashed into the Earth and he drowned. Since Grandpa was old and had lived a full life, they weren't as upset as they were about Bob's death. So instead of crying, they had a party because they didn't have to clean his dentures any more.

This was a great celebration because his dentures were always covered in mold and slime and barnacles. So, in memory, the lake was shaped like open dentures with a spider in between the two front teeth. The spider was named Earl and he would decide who would and who wouldn't swim at his lake. He only let the two members of the family that were left (Grandma and Aunt) swim. Mom and Dad crashed 50 years ago in an airplane. Aunt Trudy could only doggy-paddle, so she would climb trees instead. She accidentally fell off one and broke her neck. The doctors had bad news.

Trudy was dead, leaving poor, poor Granny all alone, swimming in a lake shaped like dentures and guarded by a talking spider. The spider was secretly stalking her, so after an hour, the spider attacked her and ate her hair. Grandma died from shock and baldy-ness-phobia!