Friday, July 20, 2007

Gazing At My Reflection in a Pond...

A few narcissistic nuggets for your consumption:


* I can't stand it when drawers and cabinets are left open. I have no idea where this comes from, as I'm not much of a neat-freak.

* Any food that has reached or surpassed its expiration date is totally off-limits to me. If it's milk, I may not use it even if it expires the next day. This goes back to drinking some expired milk in high school. I had a drink before I left for school in the morning, but by 3rd hour I was feeling awful. So awful, in fact, that I barfed in the bathroom at school. This is monumental because I don't like to throw up AT ALL, much less in a public place. I went home and spent the rest of the afternoon puking and dry heaving. I even went to a Young Life meeting that evening, thinking I couldn't possibly ralph any more. I spent more than my fair share in the bathroom, though I never actually let myself blow chunks. So my reasoning is "Better to be safe than yakking up your guts in a porcelain germ factory."

* I try to walk softly. I don't like it when people bang around on their heels. I'm not a big fan of unnecessary noise (as you'll find out in upcoming paragraphs). Some of this originates from an experience in early grade school. Our class was walking up some stairs and generally making a big racket, as 6- or 7-year olds are apt to do. And I was wearing cowboy boots. But my teacher stopped and said to me "You're doing a great job! You are the quietest person I've ever heard while wearing cowboy boots." That phrase stuck with me my entire life, so now I sneak around like a ninja, avoiding detection at all costs.

* The sound of my own urination bothers me. I've always thought the fire hose sound of someone taking a leak was quite uncouth, though I don't hold anyone else accountable to my way of thinking. But I do whatever is possible to minimize the decibel levels of my own excretion.

* I patently refuse to buy beer at sporting events. Out of principle, I just can't pay $8.00 for watered down Bud Light. And it never ceases to amaze me how many people will take out a seond mortgage on their home just to get plastered on ballpark beer.

* At work, I start out with twelve different windows open. They must be in the same order, every time. First, program: Microsoft Outlook. I keep a tight reign on my email inbox, so it deserves the top spot. Next is our company's accounting software. I only have to use it in the morning, but it serves as a buffer between Outlook and the third program, Microsoft Excel. I generally have at least six spreadsheets open at any given time, so I use it a lot and like to have it seperated from Outlook. The fourth program is an Internet Explorer window opened to one of the pages on our intranet. I keep it in this spot so that I remember to check on it several times a day to see what's been updated. Next is another Internet Exporer window that allows me to access the next two programs: one, a program that shows the real-time market prices for wheat and the other a program that keeps track of the trades we've made in the market. After I open those two programs, the IE window I had to use to open them up becomes my go-to window for surfing the internet. The first site I go to each day? ESPN.com. The last five windows are all IE windows opened to the various railroad websites that I use to track where our railcars of wheat are currently located. The Union Pacific railroad gets first billing followed by the Burlington Northern Santa Fe (which uses two windows) and finally the generic Steelroads website that keeps track of cars on the short lines. If something happens during the day that closes out one of these windows, I'll most likely close out the whole lot and recreate the original order. Then, I put my trash in a brown paper sack, fold it neatly, wrap it in aluminum foil and carefully place it in my waste receptacle...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

One word of advice from someone that has some of your same quirks....PAXIL. It works wonders. LMAO

Anonymous said...

Bravo Nick, Bravo

I especially like the last one, mostly because I am the exact same way, Outlook #1, Bank Software #2, IE #3-#5 for various tasks for work, and lastly #6, IE for espn.com of course. Classic.