SPORTS!

There's a guy who works at the Wendy's down the street from my office that I suspect might have Tourette's Syndrome. Why? While he's bussing tables, he'll often let out an emphatic, "SPORTS!" With that in mind, let's dig in:

--The Jayhawks come off an impressive victory over hated rival Missouri to face the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lawrence. KU has lost 36 straight times to Nebraska, the second-longest streak in Division 1-A football. They had a great opportunity to end the streak last year in Lincoln, but couldn't quite do it. This year, the Hawks' defense is one of the best in the country and should keep Nebraska bottled up. The huge question mark is whether their "Without A Trace" offense can score any points. They managed to have a fairly effective running game versus Missouri, but the quarterback situation is a revolving door of ineptitude. If Mangino can somehow convince Swanson to hold on to the football and not turn it over, I think KU probably wins this game. One of my former co-workers, a 61-year old cornhusker fanatic, told me that he wouldn't live to see the day that KU beats Nebraska in football. I told him that I thought this would be a very short and uncomfortable weekend for him.

--Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil intimated that Trent Green may not start this Sunday against the Raiders. Green's father passed away last week apparently Vermeil wants to make sure that Green is "OK" before he makes a decision. If Green doesn't play at all this week, the Chiefs are screwed. He's the one indispensable player on the roster. We've managed to gut out wins without the amazing Priest Holmes; we've won some games when we started a defense that would have a hard time stopping 10-year olds in a game of "Red Rover"; we were able to get by while Big Willie Roaf was out a couple of games. But if we have to rely on backup QB Todd Collins for more than a couple of snaps, we're doomed. Trent Green is one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the league. Not because he has tremendous physical ability, but because he knows exactly what needs to be done in this offense and is completely comfortable executing it week after week. Even with Priest looking more and more doubtful for this week's game, we could still get by with Green under center and Larry Johnson getting all the carries. Unfortunately, what this all boils down to is that the Chiefs' offense is aging like Mel Gibson in "Forever Young". Priest can't stay healthy, Roaf and Shields are starting to break down and Eddie Kennison's not anyone's idea of a spring chicken. We could be getting our first possible glimpse of a post-Green/Holmes/Roaf offense and it doesn't look good.

--A positive off-season Royals note: Mike Sweeney won the Marvin Miller Man of the Year Award, voted on by his peers as the player who best combined skill in the field with positive impact in the community. Of all the whining I do about the Royals, it IS nice to have a stand-up guy as the face and cornerstone of your franchise. Even if he only plays 120 games a year.

--Another note on off-season baseball: the first trade of the winter was pulled off yesterday. Washington Nationals GM Jim Bowden, roundly considered an overrated and egomaniacal GM, pulled the wool over the eyes of Padres GM Kevin Towers, widely considered one of the sharper minds in the game. Washington pawns off the desiccated remains of third baseman Vinny Castilla for the unspectacular, yet serviceable arm of Brian Lawrence. This quote by Towers helps explain the apparent George Costanza/Elaine Benes personality swap that must have transpired as well:

"In the 10 years I've been a general manager, I was tired of Vinny hitting home runs against us, either in Colorado or Washington," San Diego GM Kevin Towers said. "He's always been a Padres nemesis, not only from the offensive standpoint, but from a defensive standpoint. This guy, I think, is one of the best defensive third basemen in the game."

Castilla is going to have to be the second coming of Brooks Robinson to justify that deal. In addition, what does this say about Sean Burroughs? After failing miserably to live up to his Little League potential, the Padres brought in Joe Randa and sent Burroughs to the minors to help restore his ability/confidence. Randa files for free agency and apparently Burroughs didn't register on Towers' radar screen enough to avoid bringing in one of the worst regular third basemen in the game. Sorry, kid; looks like it may be time to see what that high school degree has in store for you.

--Bad news for the Miami Heat: Shaq is out 2-4 weeks with a sprained ankle. That's not the worst news, though; more minutes just opened up for Antoine Walker. Even though the Heat would have made the Finals if it weren't for Dwyane Wade's injury, Mad Scientist Pat Riley decided to blow up the roster and bring in noted "shoot first, ask questions later" Hall of Famer, Antoine Walker. Walker might be the most maddening player in the league, alternating 30-point, 12-rebound, game-winning shot performances with 3-for-19, 1-for-14 from 3-point range, shoot-my-team-out-of-the-game-in-the-first-quarter performances. How do you trade for a guy like that on a team that should be funneling the ball into Shaq 65% of the time and letting Wade do his thing the other 35%? Mind boggling.

--Last night, the guard lined up beside Kobe Bryant in the Lakers' starting lineup?

Smush Parker.

That's gotta be the best nickname in major sports right now.


**UPDATE**

Trent Green WILL play this Sunday versus Oakland, Willie Roaf and Priest Holmes are "very doubtful". We'll avoid our first taste of a Green-less lineup, but the mere thought of it should make Chiefs fans shudder.