It's All Over, Part Two

Finally, a promise kept! If you hadn't noticed during the previous year, I've done a poor job of following up with articles that I promised to post. Well, maybe this will be the beginning of a more responsible New Year. Anyway, the 2005 Year in Review is now at your fingertips:


January -

* The Junior Blakeleys and I ring in the New Year by eating a lot of chips and watching Regis Philbin fill in for Dick Clark. The excitement can hardly be contained by my two-bedroom apartment.


February -

* I set a personal record by receiving three separate birthday lunches from people at work.

* Samantha celebrates birthday #9 by generously allowing the family to congregate somewhere other than KFC.

* The Junior Blakeleys and I visit the Colorado Blakeleys, complete with new member Ella. I manage to hold Ella for 6 consecutive seconds without her crying. Coincidentally, Seth sets a new personal record by spending 6 consecutive seconds NOT bouncing on his exercise ball.


March -

* For the first time, I remember to take vacation days during the NCAA basketball tournament. Nirvana is achieved.

* Nirvana is cruelly stripped away when the Bucknell Bison defeat the Kansas Jayhawks in the first round of the tournament.

* Royals Spring Training begins. Royals fall 10 games back of the White Sox.


April -

* All existing Blakeleys (minus the Junior Blakeleys) converge on West Palm Beach, Florida for Seth and Kira's wedding ceremony and Ella's baby naming ceremony. The Pinskys graciously host the ceremonies and the Passover feast. Vicki is so caught up in the Jewish customs that she actually utters the phrase "Oy vey."

* Royals begin regular season, fall 78 games back of the White Sox.


May -

* Jeremy Mai gets married, cutting the population of single folk among my friends by one. Apparently for those of us who are left, "Mrs. Right" is harder to find than Saddam Hussein at the bottom of a spider hole.

* Tony Pena resigns as manager of the Royals. The change affects the standings only minimally. Royals 262 games back of the White Sox.

* I catch a foul ball at the Royals game while skipping out on an afternoon of work. This may be the only Royals highlight of the season.

* I attend the Atkinson's annual "Norway or the Highway" party, celebrating Norway's 100th year of independence from Sweden. The corresponding "100 years Swede-free" t-shirt elicits immediate embarrassment as I meet a family of Swedish descent soon after.


June -

* I returned to the hallowed fields of All-American Indoor Soccer Complex after a 20-year hiatus, helping our team claim the divisional crown. The stench of sweat-soaked goalie gloves has never smelled so sweet.

* Royals fall an even 400 games back of the White Sox.


July -

* Buddy Bell is hired as new Royals manager. Royals sweep Yankees. Seriously. You can look it up.


August -

* Royals lose 19 straight games, fall 612 games back of the White Sox. The Chiefs training camp somehow manages to elicit my interest.


September -

* Royals finish season 832 games back of the White Sox.

* Chiefs help Jake Plummer patent "The Bootleg" in embarrassing Monday Night loss. Plummer instantly makes $3 million in royalties.


October -

* David turns 12, making me feel old. David wears bigger shoes than I do, making me feel small. Both events, ironically, make me feel proud.

* The Colorado Blakeleys come to town for a splendid visit. Vicki manages to stay off her cell phone long enough to say "Hey!". Foreshadowing of her new relationship is lost on the rest of us.

*Inspired by my filming her, Samantha turns in the best performance of her soccer career. Maybe I should film her cleaning her room...


November -

* KU beats Nebraska in football. Lincoln freezes over.

* KU basketball season begins. Bill Self still retains respect of KU faithful. Until Thanksgiving.

* The Junior Blakeleys and I visit the Hawaii Blakeleys over Thanksgiving. Everyone is thankful for the visit. No one is thankful for the departure.

* Bill Snyder announces his retirement from coaching the K-State football team, effective at the end of the season. University of Kansas head football coach Mark Mangino announces that he'll gladly finish what Bill Snyder didn't eat.


December -

* The Royals complete their off-season by signing Ed Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

* "Survivor" is won by someone from the Kansas City area. Unfortunately, it's not me.

* The Jayhawks win the Fort Worth Bowl. Fort Worth freezes over.

* The Junior Blakeleys and I celebrate Christmas Eve with a traditional burrito bol from Chipotle. I celebrate Christmas with a traditional half dozen buffalo wings from The Peanut.

Here's hoping 2006 is as quirky and entertaining as 2005!