Ooooooooh...Baseball!

Well, now; this is strange. A baseball post on what began as a baseball blog. But after several years of finding nothing to do but complain ad infinitum about the Royals and their losing habits, Spring has sprung and after two full weeks of games, the good guys are still in first place. Okay, so they’re in a three-way tie, but hey. So my hiatus has come to an end.

So, why are we in first place? Because our starting pitching has been ridiculously good. Our #1 guy, Gil Meche, has pitched like a #1 guy. Zack Greinke has been untouchable, having yet to give up a run in his three starts. Kyle Davies has combined natural talent with the subtle genius of pitching coach Bob McClure to produce the reality his potential has been hinting at for years. Add in the fact that bloated corpse Sidney Ponson has actually held his own and Horacio Ramirez’s starts have been minimized in number and the starting rotation has been the best in the American League.

The bullpen, on the other hand, has been a mixed bag. Juan Cruz has been worth all the money paid to Kyle Farnsworth, while Farnsworth has been worth all the money paid to me. This year. At my low-paying desk job. Joakim Soria continues to try to pry the title of best closer away from Mariano Rivera, but hasn’t been utilized in the most effective, high-leverage situations. The assortment of Jamey Wrights, Robinson Tejedas, Doug Waechters and Ron Mayhays have been solid, as per their abilities.

The boys in the field have had their ups and downs, but they’ve been pretty solid, as well. Coco Crisp is leading off with a vengeance. John Buck is benefitting from the tutelage of new batting coach Kevin Seitzer. Mike Jacobs has hit a few homers, Alberto Callaspo is getting on base and the rest of the offense is treading water while Alex Gordon and Jose Guillen are on the disabled list. Of course, Guillen being on the DL is probably more like a life buoy to an offense treading water.

Outfield defense? Very good. Infield defense? Not so much. Although Billy Butler has been a pleasant surprise so far at first base.

One of the amazing things about this young season is that we could very easily be alone in first place by a couple of games. The reasons we aren’t, though, are not very pleasing . I want to keep this post light and airy, so I’ll save the mind-boggling moves of Trey Hillman for another day.

Whaaaaat?!?!

Remember my unrequited office paramour? She’s still around:


I was walking toward the door to head to the restroom when I heard a sound. I turned my head back toward the conference room, but since it was dark, I didn’t see anything. Then I heard someone say something. Very quietly, she said “Did you hear me crunch?” I realized she was sitting all alone, lights off, shades drawn, eating her lunch. My brain couldn’t compute all this oddity at once, so I just walked out the door and went to the restroom.

When I got back, I made a concerted effort NOT to look in the conference room and NOT to engage in any conversation. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see she was still sitting there like an assassin waiting alone in the dark to kill a secret agent. As I walked past the door, I heard her say something again. I hoped she would just let me pass and be done with it.

But, no.

Again, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her get out of her chair. I went and looked out my window, my back to the rest of the office, hoping to discourage any further interaction. But she was dogged:

“Did you hear me crunch?”

I said, “What?”

“Did you hear me crunch my chip when you walked past?”

“Apparently so.”

“Sorry,” she said, and took her lunch trash into the kitchen.


Whaaaaat?!?!